The Good and Bad Things That Are Going to Make My Life Difficult

I don’t know why this just hit me. Intellectually I knew, but somehow this just hit me, that these things are going to make my life more difficult, not just for the next year, but maybe my whole life.

Before I start I want to say this: this post is just mostly so people can understand, though I know it looks like I’m reaching for sympathy but mostly I want understanding and maybe some help here and there.

The Good
Note: by “good” I don’t mean these things make me better, but that these are actually part of who I am so I accept these things and even embrace them.

I’m a therianthrope.
I am a semargl. I can’t even be something a fraction simpler, like a wolf or a cat, but a creature that doesn’t exist in even mythology? Aye. Hell, I sound like a fluffy wannabe. No one in the therian or otherkin community has actually expressed that to me, thankfully.

I’m a Discord Pagan
Discordianism is half a fake religion and half a weird philosophy. It’s also awesome (in my opinion.) I’m also an eclectic pagan who wishes to practice magic, but can’t in my current situation. I can’t even ground my energy, mostly because of mental/emotional stuff I’m going through at the moment.

I’m a repulsed Gray-A
This is the newest part of my identity. Yes I’ve currently realized that I am bi-romantic, hetero-hypo-gray-sexual. Which means that I’m romantically attracted to both males and females (I don’t call myself pan-romantic simply because I don’t know anyone that isn’t cisgendered , sorry.)  Sexually attracted to males… but I don’t ever want to have sex, DO NOT WANT, etc. So I don’t see a problem with my conflicting romantic and sexual orientations, partially because having no sex drive means that I won’t feel unfulfilled, but I do see a problem with romantic relationships where the other partner might want or expect sex.

The Bad

I’m agoraphobic.
I’ve already explained this, but here’s a link to a video that explains how it feels, if you want to understand.

I have fibromyalgia
I don’t have anything to add to this. Here’s info on it, and here’s a letter written by someone else that more or less expresses how it is to be this way.

The … meh.

I’ve got Auditory Processing Disorder
This is only meh because compared to the rest of this list it really doesn’t affect me. It’s just difficult to understand what people are even saying sometimes, I have to watch my tv with captions to fully understand any words spoken (but I’m also listening, which is why it pisses me off when the captions don’t match exactly.) I can’t remember a list of directions spoken to me for my life. The only reason this does make my life harder is because I accidently piss people off.

I’m socially awkward
Like whoa. No kidding, I’m like a little like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory. I’m so out of sync with most people, I try to follow social protocols but unlike everyone else I have to consciously think about it to be able to.

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